


Don't Carry It All

by Rainsong



Series: Loose Ends [3]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bisexual Finn (Star Wars), Bisexual Poe Dameron, Bisexual Rey (Star Wars), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Finn Needs A Hug (Star Wars), Force-Sensitive Finn (Star Wars), Hurt/Comfort, Kylo Ren and Rey Are Related, Multi, POV Finn (Star Wars), POV Third Person Limited, Past Finn/Rose Tico, Past Tense, Poe Needs A Hug, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Rey Needs A Hug, Rey Organa, Rey Skywalker, Rey Solo, Rey is Not a Palpatine, Solo Siblings, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:15:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22052881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rainsong/pseuds/Rainsong
Summary: Post-celebration, in the wee hours of the morning, Finn can't sleep. Neither can Poe. They find Rey in the woods, all three of them bruised and drained from the previous day. Rey explains what happened on Exegol, everyone tries to explain their feelings for each other.AU where Rey is an Organa, Finn and Rose aren't together anymore, Poe isn't interested in Zorii, otherwise canon-compliant.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Finn/Rey
Series: Loose Ends [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1605751
Comments: 8
Kudos: 105





	Don't Carry It All

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TempeBrennan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TempeBrennan/gifts).

> Credit for the AU concept goes to my friend Sky (TempeBrennan). This was my first time writing a Star Wars fic and these characters, I hope I did them justice.
> 
> I love Rose and I think it's an injustice that she was first made into a love interest, rather than being able to stand on her own, then denied any meaningful interaction with Finn in TROS after they kissed in TLJ. Maybe I'll write her story in this AU someday. For now: she and Finn had a thing, but went back to being friends because of his unresolved feelings for Rey and Poe. It's still awkward. But Finn has three hands.
> 
> EDIT 2019/01/07 - After reading some great posts (notably https://raptorific.tumblr.com/post/155373264476/) about how Han should have taken Leia's family name, I edited the fic to reflect that in their kids' names. Nothing else altered!
> 
> **Trigger warnings:** Explicit language, discussion of canonical major character death, discussion of war.

Finn couldn’t sleep. He wasn’t sure if it was the flashing memories racing in his head, the anxiety that it wasn’t truly over, his upset stomach, or the Force. Maybe all of them. He tossed and turned for over an hour and even tried switching beds before deciding to pace instead. Back and forth, across the metal floor of the Falcon’s crew quarters. His brain wouldn’t shut down. His stomach gurgled. One of General Calrissian’s friends had brought plenty of sweets to the base for the celebration, and Finn had perhaps eaten a few too many. Poe had warned him—“You’re going to regret that in the morning”—but he hadn’t listened.

Poe was probably in the cockpit, sleeping like a rock. He occasionally slept in the bunks, but claimed he slept better in the cockpit’s chairs. Finn often wondered if it was because he wanted to be ready to fly at any moment. He had never pressed the question.

He didn’t know where Rey was. When they were on base she would usually sleep in the room adjacent to General Organa’s, or sometimes out in the woods on her own, but on the Falcon she would take a bunk. It was comforting when she did. Finn always slept well when Rey was in the same room. Her breathing was incredibly steady—except when she had nightmares. Finn always woke just before she did, in those cases. When she would gasp awake in a cold sweat, he would sit with her and hold her hand. She rarely spoke in those moments, and never described her dreams to him, but his presence seemed to help. Eventually, she would fall asleep, and he would be able to sleep, too.

Pacing and thinking about his friends was getting him nowhere. Finn stopped to lean against the wall—and knocked over an empty water canister. The noise echoed through the room. He cringed, hoping it didn’t wake Poe. He sat on the bed, cursing his restlessness.

There was a faint knock on the door, then it creaked open.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you up,” said Finn.

“I wasn’t sleeping,” replied Poe.

“Is it your arm?”

“What? No. I don’t know,” said Poe. His arm was still bandaged and, after much protest, immobilized in a sling. He sat on the bed opposite Finn. “I can’t stop thinking we have a deadline. We shouldn’t be able to rest.”

“I know. Me too.”

“I also may have had a few too many pieces of cake…”

Finn laughed, but winced as he felt a pain in his own stomach. He wasn’t sure if it was from what he ate, or from the battle. There had been so much to do, he didn’t have time to stop and notice his injuries. Someone had patched him up after they landed, but he was too busy talking to Rose to pay attention to what exactly they were treating. There was a bandage on his ribcage and bruises on his hands. Poe wasn’t much better off. Aside from his blaster wound, his knuckles were battered, just beginning to scab, and he was walking with a slight limp, though he had assured everyone it was just a pulled muscle.

“We did it,” said Finn, after a long moment.

“Yeah.”

“_She_ did it.”

“Yeah.”

“How?”

“I don’t know. She wouldn’t say. She wandered off when it got dark.”

Finn frowned.

“She shouldn’t be alone,” he said. He stood up.

“You want to go look for her?” said Poe, looking up at Finn.

“I can’t sleep, neither can you. We might as well go for a walk.”

Poe’s face crept into a smile. Finn offered his hand to help him up from the bed. Poe took it, putting more weight than normal into the support. His hand was calloused, but tender where it had been scraped. Finn’s hand ached from the pressure, but it was a comforting pain.

Poe let go when he was standing straight, and that was a different kind of pain.

They took flashlights from the cockpit, careful not to wake BB-8 (in sleep mode) or Chewbacca (passed out in the main hold hours ago) as they left the Falcon. There was still a fire in the clearing, though it was hardly a bonfire anymore. A few people seemed to be sleeping around it, a few others sitting on crates and talking quietly. Finn had no idea what time it was—long past midnight. He led the way down the usual path to where Rey and General Organa trained, sweeping the ground in front of them with the flashlight. He knew Rey sometimes meditated by the creek. Only a few yards from the base, the forest was eerily quiet.

“You’re sure she came out here?” he asked.

“No. I just know she disappeared,” said Poe. Finn realized he was lagging behind a little because of his limp. He slowed down to let him catch up, but didn’t stop completely. That would hurt his pride.

“Do you think she’ll be angry with us?”

“Maybe. That’s her problem,” said Poe with a chuckle.

They walked in near-silence for a moment. Finn focused on the crunch of twigs and leaves below their feet, the gentle wind in the trees, the growing babble of the creek ahead, trying to notice anything out of place—

AH-KEE-KEE.

“Fuck!” said Poe, instinctively reaching for Finn’s elbow as he raised his flashlight. They saw the silhouette of a night bird pass between the trees, silent except for its sudden cry.

Finn laughed, and after a moment, so did Poe, leaning on Finn’s shoulder and laughing in a way that was half-sobbing. It was a laughter of relief and gentle mocking and pure joy at all they had accomplished. As Finn caught his breath, he noticed Poe was still struggling. He wasn’t sure if it was laughter or crying or both, but Poe was clearly overwhelmed. Finn pulled him into his chest, Poe’s head resting on his shoulder. Finn pressed a hand against the back of his head protectively, and felt a bump through his curls. He wondered if it had been checked on. Now wasn’t the time to fret. Poe’s heaving slowed after a few moments, but Finn held him longer anyway.

“Let’s find Rey,” said Poe, sniffling. Finn noticed a distinct damp patch on his shoulder. He didn’t acknowledge it, instead taking Poe’s hand and aiming his flashlight ahead of them with the other. This time, Poe didn’t pull away. He rubbed his thumb across the side of Finn’s hand, running it back and forth a few times over the small burn that was just starting to heal into a scar on his finger.

The path widened as they approached the creek. In the dim light of the flashlights and the night sky, there was no sign of Rey. A nocturnal critter darted across the rock Rey usually sat on, running from the two men. Finn stepped cautiously onto the rock, towards the edge. It was a bit of a drop down, though the water wasn’t fast-moving enough to be dangerous should they fall. There was nothing below, however.

“What are you doing here?” said a voice from across the creek. Poe shone his flashlight in that direction, illuminating Rey on the opposite bank. She was dressed the same as she had been when she arrived, though her hair was down. She appeared to have patched up her wounds herself after practically running away from the medics.

“Looking for you,” said Poe.

“You should be asleep,” she said.

“I couldn’t sleep,” said Finn.

“Me neither,” said Poe. “I— We’re a bit worried about you.”

Rey studied them for a moment (Finn wondered if she could see in the dark). Then, she took a step back, and leaped over the creek, landing inches away from Poe, face-to-face.

“You found me.”

She didn’t look angry. Defiant, perhaps. Poe glanced at Finn, sharing a look of concern.

“Can we sit for a second?” he asked, letting go of Finn’s hand and lowering himself to the ground without waiting for a response. Finn joined him, feeling sudden relief at not being vertical anymore. Perhaps he was tired, after all. Rey hesitated, but sat cross-legged, with her hands in her lap and her back to the creek.

“Are you okay?” asked Finn. “Wait. No. That’s a stupid question. How are you feeling?”

“Relieved. Sad. Confused. Angry. Anxious,” said Rey, as though she had rehearsed the words.

“You don’t have to, you know, tell us everything,” said Poe, glancing at Finn for reassurance, “but we wanted to make sure you’re not going to take off. You shouldn’t keep everything…”

“You shouldn’t have to carry it all alone,” said Finn. Poe nodded in agreement.

Rey looked at her hands, not meeting either of their gazes, then raised her head, looking past them.

“I killed Palpatine.”

“We figured,” said Poe.

“Ben Organa saved me.”

Finn’s mouth fell open a little, but neither of them spoke. They let her continue.

“When we fought on the ruins of the Death Star, I healed him. I wasn’t sure what would happen next. I think… He had a change of heart. He came to help me on Exegol. Palpatine drained the life from both of us, and I thought Ben was dead. I killed Palpatine. But it was too much. I was… I died. Or very nearly. But Ben healed me with the Force, and that killed him.”

“Why did he do that?” asked Poe.

Rey finally made eye contact.

“He loved me.”

Finn sat up in surprise.

“But he tried to kill you. Several times! That’s not love.”

“Did he touch you?” said Poe, with obvious concern in his voice.

“You don’t understand,” said Rey, but Finn interrupted her.

“I don’t care how handsome he was, Kylo Ren was a terrible person who did terrible things to you. Him being in love with you doesn’t excuse anything—”

“Listen to me!” said Rey. Finn closed his mouth. “I remember, now. Everything. From when I was a child. Ben Organa is my brother.”

“Wait—”

“My name is Breha Organa.”

Finn relaxed back into amazement, extending a hand halfway across the rock to Rey. She took it and squeezed it as she explained. Poe leaned forward, bracing himself with his good arm on Finn’s back.

“When I was a child, my brother and I were training to be Jedi under Master Luke Skywalker. I was young. Only five years old. Ben was older, fifteen. By the time I had started training, he was already under the influence of Snoke. As his first test from Snoke, he had to kill someone he loved. I was the obvious choice, but Ben couldn’t do it. He faked my death, played with my memories, and smuggled me to Jakku. I didn’t know who I was anymore. I could barely say my own name properly, so people started calling me Rey and assumed my parents were junkers who sold me.” She paused. “My parents… Leia knew. I don’t think she knew at first. Her little girl Breha died years ago. But when she died, I felt her presence. That’s when I knew, too.”

“Did Ky— Ben know?” asked Finn.

“Yes. He still couldn’t kill me, after all this time.”

“He’s dead?” asked Poe.

“Yes.”

“Are you… Sad?”

“Yes.”

Finn squeezed her hand.

“Why did Palpatine want you?” asked Poe.

“Ben and I were a dyad in the force. Siblings, hovering between the light and the dark, descended from the most powerful Jedi and Sith warriors. He needed both of us to regain his power.”

“So you really are the last Jedi,” said Finn, amazed.

“I don’t have to be. There are others who are sensitive to the Force,” said Rey.

Finn bit his lip, glancing at Poe, then back to Rey.

“I am.”

“What?” said Rey, shaking her head slightly.

“I’m Force-sensitive. At least, I think I am,” said Finn.

“Is that what you wanted to tell her, before?” said Poe, surprised.

“Yeah.”

“I thought you were in love with her.”

“Well, not exactly…” said Finn, hesitating. “I… I don’t know if I, if I want to—”

“I understand,” said Rey, squeezing his hand. “Me too.” Finn relaxed for a moment, but then his heartbeat quickened. She felt it, too! He had wondered, more and more over the past weeks and months. There was something there, unspoken, but Finn had dismissed it as his own imagination, or the Force inside him reaching out to her, nothing more. But it was more than that. This wasn’t the Force connecting two individuals—this was their humanity connecting three of them. Finn knew it, intuitively. This wasn’t just about him and Rey.

“Wait. I’m confused,” said Poe. “Is this a Force thing?”

Rey withdrew her hand from Finn and closed her eyes for a moment.

“Now is not the time to figure out what all this means, specifically,” she said as a preface, “but I love you. Both of you. In every way. And I think— well, at least Finn—”

“Oh,” said Poe, stiffening.

Finn pulled his knees into his chest, making himself small. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe it was just him and Rey, and he had fooled himself into thinking he could be with Poe, too.

Poe continued after a contemplative pause. Finn realized his initial reaction wasn’t defensive, or angry. He was pensive.

“I’ve never quite figured out how to say it. But I think… Wow, yeah. I love you too. Two,” said Poe. Rey laughed at the pun. “Wait, how long have you guys…”

“I’ve never been quite sure, myself,” said Rey, “until now. But I’ve felt things for months.”

“I’ve been in love with both of you since we met,” said Finn, the words coming before he had even thought them through.

“Even with Rose?” asked Poe.

“Rose is great. But the reason… We didn’t work out because I was still in love with you.”

“Oh. Well, that’s good. For us,” said Poe.

Finn smiled and relaxed again, shifting towards Poe, who rested his head on his shoulder. Rey moved closer, too, taking each of their hands in her own.

“Thank you,” she said, tears rolling down her face that Finn hadn’t noticed earlier. How long had she been crying? “For listening. And coming out here. I don’t actually want to be alone.”

“I know,” said Finn.

“I love you.”

“I know.”

“Can we go back to the Falcon? I’m freezing,” said Poe. Finn noticed the cold below them reaching his bones. He wasn’t wearing enough layers for this.

Rey stood up, pulling Poe up with her with ease. He wobbled for a moment but caught himself on her shoulders with his good arm. Finn stood up as well, bracing his arm around Poe’s waist. Poe let most of his weight rest on Finn this time, the exhaustion finally overtaking him. Finn had never seen him so vulnerable. He felt like kissing his forehead, so he did.

Poe smiled, and raised his head enough to kiss him back, on the mouth. Both of them had chapped lips, and Finn was momentarily quite aware of the fact that he hadn’t brushed his teeth before going to bed—but it didn’t matter. He had thought about this for months. Poe’s lips were warm despite the chill on the rest of his face.

Poe pulled away all too soon. Finn was tempted to grab his face and kiss him again, but Rey was there as well, resting her forehead against Poe’s temple, so he kissed her cheek instead, surprised at the chill of her face, too. He often expected her to be the exact opposite of what a normal human was, but it seemed that Jedi still got cold. She smelled like the forest around them: crisp, cold, earthy.

Poe turned his face towards Rey’s, much more hesitant than he had been with Finn. He brought a hand to her cheek, and she leaned into the kiss, gently. Finn watched, mesmerized. He had a fleeting feeling of jealousy before remembering that this was happening, that these beautiful people loved him, too. Rey’s arm on his waist pulled him closer, confirming that.

He closed his eyes, savouring the closeness, until he felt lips press against his. Rey. She was smiling, and he did, too. This kiss was a little more desperate, less hesitant, something they had both daydreamed about, but again, it ended too quickly. Rey reached up, on her toes, to kiss his forehead.

Finn couldn’t stop smiling. There would be many more kisses to come.

He felt overwhelmed—by affection, exhaustion, everything that had happened in the past 24 hours. It was a good overwhelmed, he figured, but it needed to be processed.

“I love you,” he said. That was enough for now.


End file.
